


A Rough Day at the Office

by howwasthefun_vee



Series: Parenting a Little Shit™ [3]
Category: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Anesthesia, Be nice to him, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Instagram, Kinda?, News Media, Peter is a Little Shit, Poor Tony Stark, Social Media, Teenage Dorks, Tony Stark Defense Squad, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Twitter, Wisdom Teeth, he's having a rough day ok, just a little though, michelle hates capitalism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-09-11
Packaged: 2019-03-05 23:04:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13398171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/howwasthefun_vee/pseuds/howwasthefun_vee
Summary: It is time for Ned and MJ to finally meet the IronDad. If only the circumstances were a little better.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> so tony is punched in the face and this results in blood and teeth stuff so if that bothers you? It's not explicit only really mentioned but still. This is gonna be a multi-chap and I will hopefully update same time next week but no promises. I apologize in advance

Peter may as well have been bouncing off the walls during class, but he couldn’t make himself sit still for the life of him. His chemistry teacher kept giving him warning glances, but he didn’t pay any attention. He wasn’t doing anything wrong technically so…  
  
Peter nearly shot out of his seat once the bell rang, Ned struggling to keep up with him.  
“Dude, why are you suddenly so excited to go to gym?” Peter shrugged, a grin on his face.  
  
“It’s not gym I’m excited for Ned.” Ned looked at Peter with a slightly unimpressed look.  
  
“Are you ever not going to be excited to hang out with Tony Stark?” Peter quirked an eyebrow at him.  
  
“Would you?” Ned let out a grin.  
  
“Probably not. That dude is so cool.” Ned’s voice was wistful, his eyes staring into the distance. Peter’s eyes widened.  
  
“Dude I have an idea! What if I asked Mr. Stark if you could come hang out with us? He’s just watching me for the weekend while Aunt May goes on a business trip. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind?” Ned’s eyes widened, and he began to nod his head fast enough that Peter was worried that it would fly off.   
  
“That would be the best thing ever! Ask him!” Ned let out a smirk. “Maybe you should see if MJ could go too?” Peter blushed, before nodding.  
  
“That would be a good idea.” Ned shoved him playfully, but they fell silent as they entered the locker room for gym. As Peter put his backpack in his locker, he pulled out his phone to text Tony.   
  
“Who’s IronDad?” Peter whipped around to see Flash smirking at him. “Taking this Stark Internship charade a little far, aren’t we? It's really pathetic Penis Parker.” He sneered. Peter rolled his eyes and turned back to his locker. Flash wasn’t worth the time of day. He quickly shot a text off to Tony about Ned and MJ coming over before sending one to MJ about hanging out after school. He quickly zipped up his bag and headed out to the gym.

* * *

Ned was the first in the locker room, waiting in front of Peter’s locker and practically bouncing.   
“You need to see what he said!” Peter rolled his eyes, but quickly put in his combo and yanked his backpack out. He had 3 new texts. 

**MJ:**   
_Sure loser. Meet me out front_

Peter grinned and opened the next one.

**IronDad:**  
 _Sure kid. Just don’t ruin my penthouse.  
_  
Ned and Peter let out a whoop and bumped fists.   
“Wait Pete, check the last text!” Peter was amazed to see it was from Happy.  
  
 **Happy:**  
 _Plans have changed some, but Mr. Stark said you and your friends are still good to go. I will be picking you up._

Ned and Peter were immediately suspicious. “What do you think he means?” Ned asked in a hurry, rushing to his own locker to start changing. Peter shrugged as he got out his clothes. 

“It could be anything with Tony honestly. He is kinda bonkers.” Peter’s eyes narrowed and he leaned closer to Ned. “Did you know he has a tumblr” Ned’s eyes widened and he let out a shriek of delight.   
  
“Holy shit that’s amazing! What does he do on it?” Peter blushed and finished getting dressed before answering.   
  
“He defends Spider-Man…” Ned let out another shriek.  
  
“That is beautiful man. I’m even more excited to meet him now than I was before and I didn’t know that was possible.” Peter gave a small smile before glancing at the time.   
  
“Shit we gotta go.” The duo quickly dashed out of the locker room, hightailing it to where MJ would be.  
  
MJ was tapping her foot impatiently by the flagpole by the time Ned and Peter arrived. “About time losers. Let’s go.” She looked to Peter. “Are we walking or what?” Peter shook his head.  
  
“A-Actually, someone is here to pick us up. His name is Happy. He’s taking us to Stark Tower...” Michelle gave him a weird luck.  
  
“His name is Happy? And we’re going to Stark Tower right now?” Peter laughed.  
  
“Yeah, and he is anything but. And Mr. Stark is babysitting me while my Aunt is gone so...” Ned and MJ both let out a laugh as they walked to the student pick up. Peter immediately spied the large black car that Happy drove and waved his two friends to the car. He quickly opened the door and slid in with MJ and Ned following. “Hi Happy!” The man scowled.  
  
“Hey kid. Who are these two?”   
  
“This Ned and MJ. You’ve talked to Ned before very briefly.”  
  
“Hello sir!” Ned waved excitedly and Happy just pulled away from the curb. He cleared his throat as he exited the parking lot.  
  
“So kids, here’s what is going to happen. Peter, did you get my text?” Peter nodded.  
“I did. What happened?” Happy glared in the mirror.  
  
“I’m getting to that. First off, there will be no explosions in the lab today. You can’t go into the lab without Rhodey, Pepper, or myself watching today because Tony can’t today.” Peter went to open his mouth but Happy mimed zipping his lips shut, glaring in the mirror again. MJ looked at Peter with a confused look.  
  
‘What’s up?’ She mouthed carefully. Peter shrugged helplessly again. He had no idea, but with what Happy was saying, he was getting kind of nervous. Happy swallowed before continuing.  
“Tony was attacked today during a meeting-” The car erupted into chaos, all 3 teenagers calling out in outrage. Happy yelled. “Hey- SETTLE DOWN! I’m gonna crash the car if you keep doing that!” They stopped talking, although Peter looked ready to hunt down the perpetrator and enact some vigilante justice. “As I was saying… Tony was punched by a man who barged into a board meeting. He was punched 2 times before a security officer detained the man. He had to get emergency dental surgery because he had a tooth knocked out. He’s not gonna be on the top of his game today.” Ned raised his hand hesitantly.   
  
“Sir?” Happy scoffed.  
  
“You’re kidding with the hand up thing right? Go!” Ned dropped his hand quickly.  
  
“What do you mean when you say he won’t be on his top game? Should MJ and I go home?” Happy shook his head.  
  
“Tony said it would be fine, but he’s allergic to a lot of anesthetics they would normally use for this type of thing, so he had to be put under general anesthesia. He’s gonna act like he just got his wisdom teeth out so…” Happy shrugged. “Don’t be too mean to him.” Peter let out a laugh. This was the perfect blackmail opportunity.

* * *

Peter, MJ, and Ned raced to the elevator to get to the penthouse level. “Where is Tony, FRIDAY?” Peter looked to FRIDAY’s camera in the corner of the elevator.   
  
“Boss is arriving with Boss Lady in about 2 minutes. They should be up to the Penthouse Suite in no more than 5 minutes Mr. Parker.” Peter thanked her and turned to his friends, but they remained silent until the doors opened, revealing Tony Stark’s Penthouse at the top of Stark Tower. MJ whistled low.  
  
“Capitalism at work.” Peter rolled his eyes just a little bit but didn’t comment, throwing his backpack on the kitchen counter before flopping on the couch in front of the TV. MJ and Ned followed suit, albeit slower.   
  
“So, what do you want to do?” MJ and Ned were interrupted by the elevator doors opening, Pepper’s voice traveling through the room.   
  
“Tony, stop touching your mouth.” Peter stood up and approached the couple while MJ and Ned stayed on the couch.   
  
“Hey Pepper, do you need help?” He stopped when he saw Tony’s face. He had a black eye and his cheeks were swollen. He had gauze in his mouth, along with a split lip. Peter winced. “That must have hurt.” Tony nodded jerkily before wincing. Pepper sighed.  
  
“How many times do I have to tell you not to move your head, Tony. You just got punched in the face, so moving your face might hurt, right?” Peter could tell that Tony wanted to nod his head but stopped himself.  
  
“Pepper, did Happy tell you that MJ and Ned are here?” Pepper looked to the two teenagers still on the couch. They waved at her. She smiled tiredly at them.  
  
“Yes he did. MJ and Ned, right?” Peter nodded and helped Pepper lead Tony over to the recliner that was to the left of the couch. Ned worried his bottom lip.   
“Is he going to be ok Ms. Potts?” Pepper gave a weak laugh and nodded.   
  
“Yes he will, thank you for asking Ned. Just please make sure he doesn’t try to get down to the lab because he will try and it will not end well.” Ned nodded seriously.  
  
“You can count on us ma’am.” Pepper gave a real smile this time.  
  
“I appreciate that.” She faced Peter. “I’m gonna be gone for about 2 hours dealing with this latest fiasco. Rhodey should be here in about an hour. Do you think you 3 can make sure he doesn’t die while I’m gone?” Peter nodded and grinned.   
  
“Am I allowed to film this?” Pepper smirked.  
  
"Absolutely. I need it to show at the wedding."


	2. Chapter 2

“Hey, Tony. How are you feeling?” The man just turned to Peter, looking miserable. MJ snorted.

“Pretty dumb question Parker.” Peter flushed, but Tony scowled at MJ.

“Pete’sshh shmartt.” Ned burst out laughing and Tony turned to Peter with a sad expression. “Fasshh hursshhss.” Peter nodded, trying his best to hide a smile.

“I bet your face does hurt. You got punched in the face, Tony.” Tony hummed and reclined into the couch, burying his face between the cushions.

“Won’t that hurt?” MJ sounded vaguely horrified but by what, Peter had no clue. He shrugged.

“I don’t know. But I do have an idea.” Peter stood up and marched to Tony’s bedroom, Ned and MJ following him awkwardly. “Neither of you are going to stay with him?” MJ gave him a look.

“Dude, we don’t even know the guy and we’re meeting him while he’s hopped up on pain meds. Slightly weird.” Peter kind of had to agree, but knew Tony shouldn’t be left alone for long and so hurried on with his task. He grabbed 2 of Tony’s socks and went into the kitchen.

“Do we want to know what is happening right now?” Ned looked a little weirded out. “Thinking about Iron Man having a sock drawer is weird to me for some reason. He seems too famous to have sock drawers.” Peter scoffed.

“I have seen this man nearly wet himself when he took me driving once. I don’t even know what to expect anymore.” Peter grabbed 2 plastic bags and filled them with the ice machine before stuffing one in each sock.

“What are you doing?” MJ was staring over his shoulder as he tied the 2 socks together.

“I am creating an ice pack for his face. Because ow.” MJ winced with sympathy.

“He’s gonna be hurting for a while.” Peter handed Tony the socks tied together.

“Put those on your cheeks.” Tony instead put the socks in his lap and started to poke his cheeks and mouth. “Stop that!” Peter grabbed his hands and pulled them into Tony’s lap. “Don’t do that again.” Tony gave a small glare before poking his face again. He could hear MJ and Ned hold back snickers.

“Isshh dish my tongue?”

“That is your lip.”

“Oh.” Peter let out a sigh and grabbed the ice packs and placed them on Tony’s swollen face. He brought Tony’s hands up to clutch them.

“Stay like that.” Tony gave a nod and leaned back into the couch. Peter sat down beside him with MJ and Ned sitting further down the couch. “Do you want to watch something, Tony?” The man shrugged. Peter turned to his friends. “Do you guys have a preference?” Ned’s hand shot up.

“Star Wars.” MJ sighed. Tony gurgled. Peter grinned.

“Star Wars it is.” Because of course.

* * *

 

All 3 teenagers turned to Tony when they began hearing snoring. MJ let out a laugh upon seeing the normally composed superhero and suave businessman fast asleep, face smushed against the couch with socks full of ice wrapped around his cheeks. His face was puffy with swelling and the gauze.

The elevator dinged. Peter sat up, staring at the doors. He instantly relaxed when Rhodey came walking out, his leg braces glowing a light blue. He had a concerned expression on his face, his eyes pinched with anger. Peter spoke up. “What was up with the guy who did this?” Rhodey smirked.

“He’s gonna be in prison for a while, I can tell you that. And he’s not going to be happy seeing himself on the wrong end of several lawsuits.” Peter scowled.

“Good,” Rhodey smirked now.

“So what shenanigans has he gotten into?” Peter shrugged. Ned answered for him.

“Did you know Tony Stark has a sock drawer???” Ned dropped his head into his hands. “Why do I even speak?” He mumbled. Rhodey let out a huge guffaw. He shook his head.

“It doesn’t surprise me, considering everything I’ve seen him get up to at MIT.” MJ paused the movie. She gave Rhodey a look.

“Do tell.” Rhodey smiled.

“My time has finally come.”

* * *

 

Tony awoke to the sounds of 3 giggling teenagers. His brow furrowed. Why were there 3 teenagers in his house? He could understand 2, with Harley and Peter, but who was the third one. The next thing he noticed was his face was killing him. He wiggled his jaw, feeling gauze in the back of his mouth. What had happened? He decided to finally open his eyes to find himself stretched out on the couch. Rhodey was sitting with Peter and 2 other kids he’d never seen before, laughing their heads off. Tony let out a sigh. That was never good. He eased himself up, resting a hand on his swollen cheeks. He did not feel very good.

Rhodey must have heard him get up because he called out. “Hey, Tones! How are you feeling?” He just let out a groan. His platypus had the audacity to laugh. “I got you some ice cream if you feel up to it.” Nevermind. Honeybear was forgiven. He shuffled into the kitchen, ignoring the delinquents to plop down in front of the ice cream bowl Rhodey had set down, along with a spoon. Tony paused.

“Howshh I’m shupposhed to eeaat thisshh?” He slurred irritably. Rhodey shrugged. Tony sighed again. He picked up the spoon. He’d just have to figure it out. He stopped when the kitchen went silent. He turned to the kids. He arched an eyebrow. They went back to talking, a little too quickly. He let his eyes close before turning back to his ice cream. He heard the unmistakable shudder of a camera lens. He whipped around to see Peter giggling behind his camera. The custom one Tony had built him! The betrayal!

“C’mon Mr. Stark. This is just revenge for when I get my wisdom teeth out.” Tony couldn’t really argue with that, but he wasn’t happy about it either. He just wanted to eat his ice cream goddamnit! Rhodey must have sensed this and asked Peter and his friends to go.

“How about you guys go hang out in Peter’s room? You haven’t shown it to them yet, have you?” Peter grinned and the trio raced off.

“Thankshhh.”

“No problem Tony. Now eat your ice cream. I gotta get it on video.” Tony groaned. Of course. He got ice cream on the spoon and brought it to his mouth. Or where he thought his mouth was. Turned out he was wrong and ended up jabbing himself in the chin. Rhodey let out a bark of laughter before muffling it. Tony tried again. And again. After about 3 attempts, he finally managed to get the ice cream in his mouth only for it to slide out again and hit the counter. He stared at it in despair. Rhodey squinted. “What’s up, dude?” Tony let his head roll back.

“Can’t feeellll moushhh.” Rhodey sighed.

“Do I need to spoon feed you dude? Because I don’t really want to.” Tony shook his head hard, wincing at the pain it brought. Rhodey laughed. “Ok, ok, I get it. No spoon feeding. Are you going to try again, or wait for Pepper?” Tony considered it for a minute.

“Ryy ainnn” Rhodey shot him a confused glance.

“Again?” Tony nodded and picked up his spoon. This time he got it in his mouth the first try and clamped his hand over his mouth to keep the ice cream from falling out. He tilted his head back and let it slide down his throat. Or he assumed it did. He still couldn’t really feel it. But it wasn’t in his mouth again when he released his hand so… He shot Rhodey a pleased, lopsided grin. Rhodey returned with a grimace. “Nice Tones.” They were both distracted when the elevator opened again. Tony almost slumped to the floor when he spotted Pepper’s hair. He gave her a dopey smile and she smiled at him.

“Hey, Tony. How are you feeling?” Tony just smiled again. Pepper laughed. She turned to Rhodey. “Where are the kids?”

“I sent them to Peter’s room so Tony could eat his ice cream in peace.” Pepper nodded.

“Are you finished, Tony?” He nodded, slowly this time. She smiled. “FRIDAY, could you call them into here? I’d like to thank them.” In almost no time at all, the 3 kids were skidding into the kitchen.

“Hello, Pepper!” Exclaimed Peter. Now that Tony was more lucid, he could appreciate what the kid had done.

“Hankshhh peter.” The teenager grinned.

“Don’t worry about it, Tony. I have enough footage to make up for it.” Tony’s eyes narrowed.

“Wh-”

“Don’t worry about it, Tony.” This time Rhodey answered. Tony let his head drop to the countertop. He might as well just accept his fate. He saw Rhodey lean over Peter's shoulder, staring intently at the screen. He sighed again. Pepper just patted the back of his head in consolation.

“Peter!” His eyes widened as he heard Tony shout from the street. He looked with wide eyes to see Tony leaning against a car outside his school. He smirked. He knew exactly what this was about.

* * *

 

“Hey, Mr. Stark!” Tony took off his sunglasses and gave him an unimpressed look. “How's your mouth feeling?” Tony glared this time.

“Don't 'Mr. Stark’ me. You know what you did.” Peter let out an honest to God giggle.

“And what about it?” Tony groaned and leaned back.

“The only reason I'm not kicking your ass from here to Malibu is that it made Pepper happy with the good PR. But did you really have to post a video to YouTube of me, hyped up on pain meds, ranting about Jar Jar Binks? Really?” Peter grinned and started to skip down the sidewalk to the subway station. Tony called after him but he just kept on skipping.

Peter skipped all the way into his apartment. Aunt May was there to greet him. “What's got you so excited?” Peter gestured to the couch.

“You have to watch a video with me. It's important.” He sat on the couch and pulled out his phone before she had a chance to answer. He had pulled up the video by the time May had settled beside him.

“Iron Man’s beef with Jar Jar Binks? What on Earth Peter?” Peter grinned and pressed play.

_The video was steady and showed Tony Stark himself nestled into a white couch. Behind the camera, you could hear the Star Wars theme song and Peter's voice._

_“Hey Tony, what do you think of Jar Jar Binks?” Tony sat up lightning fast and almost screamed out._

_“HE’SHHH A SHIIISHHHHH!” Laughter could be heard, along with Ned’s cackling._

_“He's- he's a sith?” Peter managed to ground out between chuckles. Tony nodded emphatically._

_“Jar Jar Binks,” Tony took great care pronouncing the name. “Is a shiishhh Lord becuuuzzz he is shix feet tall.” This triggered another peal of laughter. Ned could be seen rolling on the floor, holding his stomach. Tony shook his fist. “I'm gonna buy dishney for shhaat. How dareee.”_

_The video cut off after zooming in on Tony's swollen face._


End file.
